1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,460 Visita Mikael Books en Facebook para ver más contenido de libros en inglés. 2 00:00:04,620 --> 00:00:09,040 Unit 23, page 392. Read. 3 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:11,640 Ask Rosa. 4 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,300 Dear Rosa, 5 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,780 Hank and I were best friends in high school, 6 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:21,300 so when he suggested we room together in college, 7 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,260 I thought it was a great idea. 8 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:24,760 Wrong. 9 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:28,240 Had I known what a slob Hank really is, 10 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,840 I never would have agreed to room with him. 11 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:35,120 We have a small suite that has become a pigsty 12 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:38,600 because Hank thinks it's beneath him to wash a dish 13 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:42,440 and is convinced the floor is the place to keep clothes. 14 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,920 Whenever I talk to Hank about it, he just says, 15 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,240 Hey, Jason, you need to lighten up. 16 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:49,360 You're too tense. 17 00:00:50,020 --> 00:00:54,300 I'm no neat freak, but I do prefer a semblance of order. 18 00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:57,920 I still like Hank and want to stay friends, 19 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,840 but I'm feeling more like a doormat every day. 20 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,060 What would you recommend I do? 21 00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:04,680 Jason. 22 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:06,820 Dear Jason, 23 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,940 No one should have to feel like a doormat. 24 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:15,660 Unfortunately, there's no easy solution to your problem. 25 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,160 I can suggest three potential remedies. 26 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:24,000 First, Hank may be unaware there's actually a problem. 27 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:28,160 If so, ask him if he really likes having doors, 28 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,840 dirty dishes, and bugs all over the place. 29 00:01:31,540 --> 00:01:35,580 If he doesn't, he might lend his muscles and help with the cleaning. 30 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,820 There's a chance this approach will work, 31 00:01:39,420 --> 00:01:43,960 but if not, Remedy 2 is teaching him how to clean up. 32 00:01:44,820 --> 00:01:47,100 He just may not be used to it. 33 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:52,420 You might suggest he do the dishes one day and you the next. 34 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,420 Should that not work, 35 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:58,220 Remedy 3 is to remind him you both have 36 00:01:58,220 --> 00:02:01,840 a right to a reasonably clean and orderly living space 37 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,920 and you feel your rights are being violated. 38 00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:09,880 Sometimes an appeal to a person's sense of fairness can do the trick. 39 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:14,360 Whatever you do, it's important that Hank not feel criticized. 40 00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:17,780 Otherwise, he'll probably become resistant, 41 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,420 so be moderate in your suggestions. 42 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,060 Good luck. 43 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:23,020 Rosa. 44 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,140 Dear Rosa, 45 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,020 Jim and I have been married for over four years. 46 00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:31,660 And our marriage would be ideal 47 00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:34,620 were it not for the overbearing personalities 48 00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:36,760 of some of the people in his family. 49 00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:39,460 I love Jim dearly, 50 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:44,400 but there are times when I feel like I'm married to his family members as well. 51 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,580 They often drop in without letting me know they're coming. 52 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:53,740 And at this point, I'm spending more time with them than with Jim. 53 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:55,800 Besides that, 54 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,200 his sister Hannah constantly asks, 55 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:01,700 and he bombards me with requests that I do favors for her. 56 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,420 For example, 57 00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:07,420 she insists I take her grocery shopping every week, 58 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:09,960 even though she has her own car 59 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:13,500 and is perfectly capable of doing this on her own. 60 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,180 Even worse, 61 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:19,220 his cousin Helen often requests I lend her money. 62 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:21,020 At this point, 63 00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:24,000 Helen owes me about $750, 64 00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:26,640 but if I mention it, 65 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,760 she just says, 66 00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:30,360 Carla, you know I'm good for it. 67 00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:33,140 I just need to get some bills paid off, 68 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,900 and then I can pay you back. 69 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:40,420 Rosa, I feel like I'm being manipulated by his family members. 70 00:03:41,140 --> 00:03:44,460 I know how important Jim's family is to him, 71 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,900 but I'm at the end of my rope. 72 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,500 What would you suggest that I do? 73 00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:50,580 Carla. 74 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,340 Dear Carla, 75 00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:56,100 You're experiencing lack of privacy, 76 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,920 one of the most common problems, 77 00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:00,220 faced by young married people, 78 00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:02,220 so don't feel you're alone. 79 00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:05,220 The problem sounds quite fixable. 80 00:04:06,220 --> 00:04:10,220 My guess is that your husband probably doesn't know what's going on, 81 00:04:10,220 --> 00:04:13,220 and doesn't realize the depth of your frustration. 82 00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:15,220 Here's my advice. 83 00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:18,220 Have a heart-to-heart talk with Jim. 84 00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:20,220 First, 85 00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:22,220 tell him you appreciate his family, 86 00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:27,220 but also feel you and he need more time alone together, 87 00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:28,220 and that way, 88 00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:30,220 without that time together, 89 00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:33,220 your relationship won't be able to develop as it should. 90 00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:37,220 Suggest these people call before they come over. 91 00:04:38,220 --> 00:04:39,220 Also, 92 00:04:39,220 --> 00:04:41,220 tell him you want to be helpful, 93 00:04:41,220 --> 00:04:45,220 but you feel his sister and cousin are asking too much of you. 94 00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:49,220 I'll bet he'll be willing to speak to them privately, 95 00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:52,220 or at least mediate between you and Helen. 96 00:04:52,220 --> 00:04:54,220 When you're telling Jim about this, 97 00:04:54,220 --> 00:04:55,220 of course, 98 00:04:55,220 --> 00:04:57,220 it's essential that you not criticize him, 99 00:04:57,220 --> 00:04:59,220 not criticize his family members. 100 00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:02,220 That would probably cause resentment. 101 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:06,220 Just give an honest statement of your feelings. 102 00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:10,220 With a little bit of extra communication with Jim, 103 00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:13,220 you can right the ship and make your marriage stronger. 104 00:05:14,220 --> 00:05:15,220 Good luck, 105 00:05:15,220 --> 00:05:17,220 and hang in there. 106 00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:18,220 Rosa.