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Visita Mikael Books en Facebook para ver más contenido de libros en inglés.

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Unit 21. Page 367. Exercise 7. Listening.

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We're back, everyone.

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Once again, I'm Anne Ness, and my guest today is communication expert Ellen Sands,

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who is telling us about ways to minimize verbal conflict.

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Ellen, you've talked about active listening and about stating things positively instead of negatively.

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What's another way to improve communication?

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A third way involves speaking about yourself instead of about the other person,

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especially in a conflict situation.

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That means focusing on how the other person's statements are affecting you.

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It does not involve...

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It does not involve returning anger for anger.

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How about giving us an example?

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Sure.

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Here's a situation from my own private practice.

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A few months back, two sisters, whom I'll call Rosa and Alicia,

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came to me for help with a family dispute.

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Their mother had died, and they were arguing about dividing up the family estate.

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Oh, dividing up an estate.

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That can be tough to manage.

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Yes, and since their mother hadn't left a will,

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the situation was particularly complicated.

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It wasn't long before Rosa and Alicia were at each other's throats.

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Rosa said,

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Alicia, you always got your own way because you were Mom's favorite.

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Alicia was clearly hurt by the criticism and angrily responded,

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The problem is that you're a very selfish person.

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After that,

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it just got worse.

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What would have been a better way to handle this?

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Well,

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Rosa was the aggressive one.

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But it takes two people to make an argument.

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Alicia should have talked about how Rosa had made her feel

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instead of attacking Rosa back.

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She could have said something like,

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You know, Rosa,

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you really hurt my feelings when you said that.

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Then she could have said,

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I felt really bad about what you said.

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And then she would have been completely disrespected.

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You would be surprised how much statements like this can diffuse anger and help in a conflict situation.

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Very interesting.

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Alright.

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We are going to take another break and hear more from Ellen Sands.

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Stay with us!